Last night in bed just before sleep I closed my eyes and suddenly we were transported to an apple orchard where we were surrounded by very tall wizards with long, grey beards wearing polka dot robes and pointed hats; I had to open my eyes to make them go away.
Looking out of my kitchen window every morning I notice a man and his dog. The man always picks up rubbish lying around and has become a kind of unsung hero to me. The streets are littered with litter, no one gives a damn, I never see any binmen, and here's this lone ranger with his dog, clearing up the streets. He reminds me of my brother a bit, with his beard and wellies. I'd never spoken to him until today.
He comes up to me this morning just as I've left the flat on the way to work. I smile at him as he approaches and am about to say what a great job he does. He cuts me short:
"Six fucking years I've been doing this and every fucking day I think this will be my last."
"It's not about the litter it's about not being called a cunt."
"Oh." I was in shock.
Someone is apparently calling him a cunt, and dropping litter purposely to antagonise him. He's going to get violent if he finds out who it is. "I know it's not you, mate." I was relieved. He rants some more and is about to leave when he says, "Your bins are a fucking disgrace." I am aware of the ongoing problem of the communal bins (not my fault, I exclaim). "You can do something about it, you can make the change." And then, as a coda, "Litter causes property prices to drop by 6%-9%." I appreciated the tip.
A few minutes later there was Superman on the kerb covered in blood. He was a strange sight and I didn't know what to make of it. The figure in the Superman costume seemed young and lanky, blood all over his hands; he wasn't able to stand. It was a great image, loaded with metaphor, but I didn't linger; police had turned up, hopefully he would be okay. A few minutes later, a ginger cat without a tail came bounding over to me, meowing. I stroked the cat and it followed me for a while.
As morning walks to work go, it was action packed.